can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is Oprah even human
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
