Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
