Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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