Sry I called you an 8
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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