Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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