I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
