is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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