Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize