Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
