Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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