she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
