Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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