oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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