addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
