is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
