I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
