no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
