I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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