i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
