He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
