She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
