Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
