If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I deserve this hangover.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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