Im at strip club and am horny
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
