He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
