God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There r osticjed everywhere
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
