I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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