Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
