You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
