I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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