Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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