no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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