just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
