You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
