I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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