this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
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Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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