so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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