im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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