We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
