Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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