do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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