So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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