Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
