I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
