Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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