the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Can I color on your dick again?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
