Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
