well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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