Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My first STD was from a foam party
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
