I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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