Sponge bath it is.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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