We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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