Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
