FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize