In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
