I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
