When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
