Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
