I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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